5 Things: Issue 17

Mother's Day, and Maslow never drew a pyramid.

Did you know that Mother’s Day originated in 1907 by a mother that had organized women’s groups to promote friendship and health?

Mother’s Day is this Sunday and every year I find myself reflecting on my feelings around widely recognized days like these. My kids are old enough now to know what this day signifies and to acknowledge it if they want (or if they remember!) They can no longer rely on their elementary school teachers to lead craft activities that result in some lovely (and some cringy) mementos. Studies show that there are positive psychological effects of boosting mom’s happiness, but I argue that this can (and should) happen all year long.

I can honestly say that I am not emotionally attached to whether they recognize me as their mother on Sunday. Will I be thinking about it and wondering if they’ll remember? Sure. But I know that my kids love me and they show it almost daily. There will be no passive-aggressive comments on my end hinting or teasing my kids for not acknowledging it (should this happen.) If they do acknowledge it in some way, I’ll welcome it with a smile, a kiss and a hug for each kid who says it. I also always appreciate texts from other adults in my life who send well wishes on this day.

I also recognize that I am in a fortunate position to be able to say that. Not all mothers get to be with their children or be as emotionally connected to their kids as I am. And there are many people who take on motherly-type roles in children’s lives that go unacknowledged. Fathers doing double time, step-mothers, girlfriends, grandparents, the list goes on. Some adult children are estranged from their parents.

I’m looking forward to reaching out to the maternal figure people in my life and wishing them a day of rest and happiness. I hope the same for you!

One Piece of Business Advice

Leadership and business have a symbiotic relationship where effective leadership can foster self-actualization in the workplace. Leaders are crucial to creating a work environment that promotes personal growth and fulfillment. They set the tone, provide guidance and support, and provide opportunities for employees to reach their full potential.

For example, you might encourage employees to take initiative and be proactive in problem-solving rather than relying on them to wait for instructions.

By embracing a leadership style that values authenticity, empathy, and empowerment, leaders can create an environment where individuals feel valued and respected, leading to increased job satisfaction, productivity, and overall well-being.

What challenges are you navigating right now as a leader?

One Personal Mastery Tip

What does it mean to be a whole person? Is any one of us 100% whole all the time? I think that varies. But are we taking responsibility for our whole selves? When we do, we are more empowered to take control of our lives. 

You are responsible for what side you bring and when. For instance, if you are in a difficult situation, you can choose to bring the best version of yourself to the table. In Scott Barry Kaufman's sailboat metaphor, he suggests that we can choose to navigate through life with either a stormy or a calm attitude. By consciously choosing to bring the best version of ourselves, even in difficult situations, we can steer our sailboat towards smoother waters and overcome challenges with grace and resilience.

A great first step is to ask yourself how secure your foundation (or boat, to continue the metaphor) is. How comfortable are you with exploring new parts of yourself? Who in your boat creates a sense of safety (physical, psychological, etc.)? Who do you want in it? In what areas of your life are you feeling unfulfilled?

By asking some of these questions as a starting point, we can better equip ourselves to manage the complexities of life and face any challenge that comes our way.

A Quote I Love

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn

One Resource

If you’re curious to take a deeper dive into the topic of self-actualization, you might start with the Characteristics of Self-Actualization assessment to learn more about which facets of self-actualization are more prominent in your life.

The 30-item Characteristics of Self-Actualization Scale (CSAS) was developed to bring the concept of self-actualization so frequently discussed by the founding humanistic psychologists into the 21st century. Grounded in Abraham Maslow’s original writings on the characteristics of self-actualizing people, the CSAS measures 10 facets of self-actualization: Continued freshness of appreciation, Acceptance, Authenticity, Equanimity, Purpose, Truth Seeking, Humanitarianism, Peak Experiences, Good Moral intuition, and Creative Spirit.

Maslow never drew a pyramid. This is not a good representation of what it means to self-actualize as a human. The pyramid was traced back to a consulting psychologist in the 1960’s who interpreted Maslow’s work in this way. It’s also important to mention that much of Maslow’s work was inspired by his time with the Siksika (Blackfoot) Nation in southern Alberta in the 1930’s. While his time spent there was not widely credited until much later, this article explains why this was the case.

Scott Barry Kaufman has dedicated much of his career focused on self-actualization and developed the assessment above taking in numerous perspectives and crediting appropriately.